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VGG Derekisms Translator
A Billville reference glossary for Derek from Vice Grip Garage: parts, tools, systems, sayings, weird pronunciations, garage logic, and certified goodery.
Parts / Tools / Systems
Garage Vocabulary
| Derekism | Translation |
|---|---|
| Bat Tree | car battery |
| Go-Handle | battery carrying handle |
| Knobolator | knob / handle |
| Music Pipes | performance exhaust |
| Power Barn | engine bay |
| Drinker Side | passenger side |
| Captain’s Side | driver side |
| Tonya Harding | hammer |
| Cheek Poker | wire wheel grinder |
| Leatherperson | Leatherman multitool |
| Digicals | electrical system |
| Water Whirler | water pump |
| Chargin’ Whirler | alternator / generator |
| Lightning Maker / Whirler | distributor |
| Lightning Hoses | spark plug wires |
| Lightning Cube | battery |
| Lightning | spark |
| Lightning Can | ignition coil |
| Lightning Scissors | plasma cutter |
| Lightning System | ignition system |
| Sparklators | spark plugs |
| Sad Cable | negative battery cable |
| Happy Cable | positive battery cable |
| Updatearuski | update / progress report |
| Well, truth be on ahead and be told | truth be told |
| Block of Bigs | big-block motor |
| Fuel Make-It-Happener | carburetor |
| Fuel Pump Make-It-Happener | fuel pump |
| Yap / Throat | carburetor bowl |
| Shift Machine | shifter / manual transmission |
| Go Forward, Go Backward Machine | automatic transmission |
| Boom Booms | speakers |
| Dinner Plates | disc brakes |
| Cereal Bowls | drum brakes |
| Clicky Clacker | electric fuel pump |
| Ragù | rag |
| Poverty Caps | hubcaps |
| Poverty Chrome | cheap trim |
| That’s Fact Tree | factory / original |
| Silly Cone | silicone sealant |
| Bleep Bloop | electronics |
| Digical / Digical Automagical Wizardry | electronic systems |
| Cold Snacks | beer |
| Wobble Pop | beer |
| The M&Ms | metric vs SAE fasteners |
| Mouse Sucker 2000 | shop vac |
| Lone Wolf 6000 | remote starter trigger |
| Steal-Me Function | jump-starting at starter solenoid, old Ford / Dodge style |
| Dinosaur Juice | motor oil |
| Ice Cube Juice | coolant |
| Dinosaur Stick | block dipstick |
| Blood Stick | transmission dipstick |
| Whiskey Dent | small embarrassing bar-related mishap |
| Brake Rejuvenation Spray | brake cleaner |
| Finger Burner 500 | small propane torch |
| Metal Brake / Bench Brake | bench vise |
| Firemaker | gasoline |
| Deck Stain | old gasoline |
| Bark Off | fire |
| Juicin’ Up | oil / lube |
| Noise Pipeulator | muffler |
| Pipulators | exhaust pipes |
| Gyps | mufflers |
| Smurf String | blue painter’s tape |
| Redneck Diamonds | shattered glass |
| Jips n’ Tips | glass packs |
| La-Saab-Ray | Buick LeSabre |
| Shev-Roll-Let | Chevrolet, pronounced grandpa-French style |
| Edelbroken | Edelbrock |
| Dirtier than an Ariana Grande video | something needs cleaning |
| Knock on the Neighbor’s Door | check the next spark plug over |
| Al-you-min-eeum | aluminium |
| Manwell | manual |
| Ignition Sticks | keys |
| Closer Upper | door handle |
| Nun Battery | missing battery |
| Three-Pedal Variety | manual transmission |
| Rig | vehicle |
| Flavor | choices / options |
| 327-Flavored | engine size, said playfully |
| Fil-Tray | filter |
| Cap-O-Later | a feller’s hat |
| Look Back Dangulators | fuzzy dice on rear-view mirror |
| Ra-Ju-Ator | radiator |
| Goin’ to Town Rig | nice vehicle / daily driver |
Sayings / Expressions / Status
What a Guy Means
| Derekism | Translation |
|---|---|
| A Guy Could Go for a Cold Snack | could use a beer |
| Moses’ Sandals | wow |
| Drier Than Bob Barker’s Back | very dry |
| Jigglier Than John Goodman’s Neck | very loose |
| Hotter Than Shania Twain in the ’90s | very hot |
| Hotter Than Noon on the Fourth of July | extremely hot |
| Plano-Later | make a plan |
| Whistlemaker | lips |
| Runnin’ Richer Than Oprah | running too lean |
| Richer Than Elon | running too lean |
| Bring the Thunder | first start attempt |
| Bring the Thunder!! Nothin’ | start failed |
| Fire Off | start engine |
| Busted Off | remove |
| Neutrellis | neutral |
| I’m Gonna Pretend I Didn’t See That | noted and ignored |
| Do the Right Thing and Pretend We Didn’t See That | ignore problem |
| Help Me Understand | this makes no sense |
| Oh That’s Fact Tree | that’s factory |
| Odd Specific Numbers | made-up precision |
| 99.2634793% | made-up precision |
| Valvolator | engine oil / additive |
| Zeus Mode | welding / sparks flying |
| Electoral Digical Problems | wiring problems |
| Starts More Fires Than Ex-Wives | known fire hazard |
| In There Like Super Glue on Your Fingers | badly stuck |
| I Think I Got Egg Sandwich in My Beard | messy / embarrassing |
| Scanned It With My Peepers | took a look |
| Maizzle | may as well |
| Pertnear | pretty near |
| Weeeeellll! | well |
| A Guy | himself |
| Gooderish | good enough |
| Very Goodery | good |
| Google Machine | phone search |
| Hook Yer Peepers Over Here | check this out |
| Throw Some Groceries Down the Back Neck | eat |
| Throw Some Groceries Down the Ole’ Back Neck | eat |
| Wet the Back Neck | drink |
| Weight Reduction | rust holes |
| Holier Than the Pope | badly rusted |
| Aleon Stuff | aftermarket electronics |
| I Guess I Got To, ’Cuz I’m Lookin’ Right At It | confronted by the evidence / no choice |
| I’ll Bet I Could Drink a Beer With That Guy | good guy |
| Hayaaa Sssaaaaa | struggle sound |
| Psssst, Psssst Pssssssst | spray paint |
| Craigslist Rebuild | repaint over junk |
| Craigslist Rebuild, Lost the Receipts | painted, not rebuilt |
| Craigslist Rebuild in a Bottle / Motor Honey | STP / Berryman additive |
| Scoot My Belly Under | crawl under car |
| Bleep Bloop It in the Comments | comment on YouTube |
| I Wonder What (Country Singer) Is Doing Right Now? | distracted |
| Uff Da Mey | ugh |
| I’m Backin’ Up, Get Outta My Way Light | reverse light |
| That Stuff Is Older Than the Nixon Administration | very old |
| Boiled Dog Vomit with a Hint of Twizzlers | describing interior smell — changes every time |
| EvilBay | eBay |
| The Forest Website | Amazon |
| Peeing Like a Racehorse on a Flat Rock | extremely loud rain |
| Fruit Phone | iPhone |
| Way… WAYYY Too Much… Perfect! | poured too much on purpose |
| For Cryin’ in the Mud! | frustration |
| Did I Work on This? | sees vice grips / zip ties; joking about corner cutting |
| I Use This More Than Deodorant | joking he smells because farm life |
| Digical Automagical Wizardry | over my head |
| You Know… Science | over my head |
| That’s as Useless as Braille at a Drive-Up ATM | useless |
| Looks Like a 12 M&M’s | 12 mm wrench / socket |
| Let’s Crack This Coffin Open | open something long shut |
| Approved | Derek-approved repair |
| Up in the Teeth | closer to his face |
| Drink Up Little Buddy | filling engine with fresh oil |
| Anti-Theft System | positive/negative cable colours reversed; burns to the ground |